To say it’s been rough is an understatement. First you go through the trauma, then you numb out for years in an effort to escape the trauma, then you hit rock bottom, then you enter recovery. That’s been my whole life. When I started my healing journey and I heard “you can’t control what happened to you, but you have control over how you deal with it,” I was pissed. You mean to tell me it’s now my responsibility to reparent myself? To heal myself? I came to find out its a yes and no answer.
I’m now ten years into my trauma recovery healing journey and I’m the best version of myself I’ve ever been, but it’s been anything but easy to get here, and I still have a long way to go. To paint the picture, the journey isn’t a straight narrow road, it’s weird, winding, hilly, cold, hot, exhausting, and long. The good thing is, when people say it gets better, it actually does. It just doesn’t always feel like it. I’m on the heels of my most recent depressive episode just yesterday and today is lighter and calmer. Nothing “changed” and nothing major happened, I simply rode it out, with support and lots of self-care. Life didn’t getter better on its own, I’ve worked at it and my higher power provides for me. My goal in writing this is to give you an introduction to my healing journey. I want to share how impactful of a journey it’s been, and I want you to know the same is happening for you too. You’re not alone and things will get better.